TWI #23 Unicorns, Green Whistles, And A Very Bad Jog

I walk through the two phone calls no parent wants, as Josh dislocates his knee at school, starts recovering, then does it again after his surgery gets cancelled. It’s a messy mix of ambulances, scans, crutches, co-parenting decisions, and the sick feeling of watching your kid hurt while you try to stay useful. 
• racing to the school while Josh screams in pain 
• paramedics, the green whistle, and getting him home safely 
• urgent care, X-ray, crutches, and the push for an MRI 
• specialist advice, keyhole surgery plans, and early signs of improvement 
• the surgery cancellation after MRI reassessment and the relief that follows 
• the second dislocation at school and the trip to Box Hill Hospital 
• the dunk tank jog decision and my unfiltered reaction 
• keeping the next specialist appointment and preparing for changed plans 
So stay tuned and we'll find out what happens next, and let's see if Josh can keep his knee in the fucking joint for the next bunch of weeks. 

Transcript

Recording Context And Headspace

0:31

Hello there. Let me preface this by saying this we're this is being recorded June the second. And um this is the first of three podcasts I'm planning to do and release hopefully in short order because it's been a while I've been distracted. There's been some shit going on. Now, as I said, this is June 2nd. Let

First Knee Dislocation At School

0:53

me tell you, back in April 29, um, that was a Wednesday, I just finished my other job, not the aged care job, another job I do every second Wednesday, and I get a phone call from Josh's mum. Um Josh has dislocated his knee. Ambulances are on the way, and I'm heading to the school. Okay. Interesting. I was meant to be going from the job to Leanne's place, and I've called her and said, No, I've got to be there for Josh, and Leanne's like, yep, go. So I'm driving and every now and again Karen would ring because Josh wanted to talk to me, and all I'd hear is screaming and the ambos and all this sort of shit, and it's like, oh, there's nothing worse than being stuck in school traffic from Fentry Galley to Lilidale, and it takes over half an hour to get to your kid who's screaming in pain, all this sort of shit, and it just sucks. But on the plus side, he was being looked after. What I didn't know was the ambulance people said we can take him to hospital or we you can take him home because we've put the knee back in, and he had the green whistle and all this. And at one point he was talking about seeing butterflies chasing unicorns or unicorns chasing butterflies. I don't remember. So fair enough, Karen had made that decision that he was going to go home that night to her place. So I've rocked up to the school. The sport teacher who looks like a student herself, she's very, very young looking, has met me and go, Oh no, no, don't park there. Bring your car this way. Okay. So I pulled the car into the school, into the car park. Now I don't know this school. I don't do the drop-off and pick up very often because of work. Normally Josh would walk to my friend Viv's place and I'd pick him up from there. So I have very little to do with the school. I don't know the layout, I don't know anything. Park the car, go on to the oval. Now the ambulance is way over in the distance. Josh is in the middle of the oval, his mum's there, he's leaning on her, and they're trying to figure out how to get him to a car. The ambulance people will not drive onto the oval because it had been raining, and they were worried they were going to get bogged. So in my defense, I've just gone I'll go get my car and I'll drive. So, yep. I drove onto the oval, threw Josh in, he's screaming, carrying on, and I drove him to his mother's place. Where he spent the night and the next couple of nights and whatever. I don't remember whose house he was at when. So he's there, I got him settled, and then I go home. And he's in pain, obviously. Understandable. The painkillers are wearing off and everything. So yes. Um the

Scans, Crutches, And Surgery Talk

3:46

next day I took him to urgent care in Bayeswater. And they said, go get an X-ray. So we went to Dr. Private, got an X-ray. Hired crutches for him, all sorts of mumbo jumbo. He's home. The next day his mum's trying to get him an MRI. So she's taking him to Maruda Hospital and she's adamant that he needs an MRI. Now we had an appointment with a bone specialist being scheduled, which he would have asked for an MRI and got that done. But his mum was on the way and she needed to get this done and now and this, and so she spent the next couple of days urgently trying to get this MRI, and she's looking for the cheapest place. I'm like, you fucking idiot. But anyway, that's beside the point. How big are penguins? 18 inches. What's the world's biggest penguin? A couple of feet. Sure. Mm-hmm. What's up? I think I've just run over a nun. So after that, and Josh gradually went back to school, which I think he should have gone back sooner, but you know what? I can only do what I can do at my house. So never mind. Then we went and saw a specialist at Box Hill who said, Okay, you need keyhole surgery. Okay, cool. I can deal with that. And Josh actually took that better than I thought he would. So good for him. Um Josh kept getting better on crutches to the point where the as the specialist said, you can start weight bearing and when you feel ready, you can walk without crutches. Excellent. He was getting better, he was showing signs of getting better. Not a problem. Then we got a date for his surgery, which as of this uh recording should have been tomorrow. Which I'll tell you why in a sec. And yeah, like life went on, life was good. And then it was a case of life went bad. It was a case of yesterday, Monday, after Josh and I spent the weekend together. And he's walking around East Lane and all this with no crutches and all this, and he ran into one of his high school I think she's a year seven coordinator. And the funny thing is, she also worked at the childcare Josh was at. So she has known him on and off since he was eight months old. And she only found out about little Josh's knee dislocation the day after it happened. And she told that to me, and I'm like, ah, that's a shame. Ow well. And um, yeah, so she was like she likes Josh. She's known him for years, I've known her for years on and off, and she's a very nice lady. So he went to school yesterday. Now while

Surgery Cancelled Then Disaster Again

6:36

he's at school, I get a phone call. Yeah, Josh's surgery has been cancelled because we've reassessed the MRIs and the bone fragment. Oh yeah, he had a bone fragment and a s a fractured patella. That was the end result of this. And the bone fragment isn't in a place where we really need to take it out, so it's not essential. Good. Because he's had a non-essential surgery in the past and he did was not a fan. So we decided not a problem. We can deal with that. Now, before this, there was much toing and froing about contacting the hospital, and I was busy at work, so I told Josh's mum to do this. And this is what got the s the specialist or surgeon to call me, and yep, not a problem. So I've let his mum know. Surgery on Wednesday is off. Josh will be happy. Within about twenty, forty minutes later, I don't even remember the timeline. I was so busy at work, and there are other things going on. Like, trust me, there's other things going on in my life. I'm not gonna talk about that here. This is Josh's time. And um Oh, by the way, I tried getting Josh on this podcast to talk about this, and he does not want to talk about this. Fair enough. So I'll do it behind your back, sunshine, tough luck. I'm a grown-up, I'm your father, I can do this. So, yes, within about 20 to 40 minutes after getting a phone call saying, Yeah, Josh's surgery's been cancelled, we don't need to do this. I get a phone call from Josh's mum. Josh has dislocated his knee again, he's at school, he had a fall, and he's dislocated, the ambulance is on the way, and I'm on the way there now. I said, Well, I'm busy at work, you're gonna have to deal with it. I'll go to wood to whatever hospital you're sending him to, because he'd better be going to a hospital this time. She goes, Yes, he is. So I get the message they're on the way to Box Hill Hospital. Now while I'm at work, Josh calls me from the back of the ambulance, and he was sore, but I think he was still a bit loaded on the green whistle again. He wasn't screaming like he was the first time. Okay. So I went home, got changed. Oh, first of all, I went up to her place, grabbed the crutches, came back to my place, had something to eat, got changed, headed to Box Hill Hospital.

The Jog That Re-Dislocated It

9:05

Rightyo, what happened? Well, the teachers were um having a dunk tank thing, and I decided to jog on jog there. Wait, wait. Your first day of school without crutches, and you decided you wanted to jog. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul. You flaming dumbass. What in the blue hell made you think that was a good idea? You've been on crutches for the last five, six weeks. Idiot. So this is what's happened.

Next Steps And The Ongoing Saga

10:02

So just to recap, Josh has now dislocated his knee twice in six weeks. Now, luckily, between the cancellation and the dislocation, I had an appointment made for a specialist appointment next Tuesday. Well, okay. So we're going to keep that appointment. Because originally, when they made that appointment, it was just a follow-up for Physio and that sort of thing for Josh. Guess what? I don't think it's just physio now. I think we're gonna reschedule a surgery. So when he thought he got out of it, yeah, right back in, son. So I know this is part one of a trilogy of shit show things that have happened. But there's gonna be a part two to the part one of the trilogy. But it's not gonna be part of the trilogy. So stay tuned and we'll find out what happens next, and let's see if Josh can keep his knee in the fucking joint for the next bunch of weeks. Okay? God damn, who the hell would have kids? Alright. Now,

Song Choice And Sign-Off

11:10

this is how we're gonna end it. I found a song, well, I've liked this song for a while. It's called Hey Johnny, I think, or and in brackets, bust your kneecaps. And I thought, what better song than this for this ending? And as I said, there will be a part two because I'm sure there's gonna be more bullshit to this saga. So stay tuned. Johnny, don't leave me. You said you glove me forever.